Day Nineteen - Moon day vibes

On the first day of each month I burn copal that I picked up in Mexico.  They say burning copal cleans crystals and energy and is a powerful conduit to the spirit world.  It is different than incense.  It seems stronger somehow.  The scent is different, the smoke is different, even when you try to light it you realize it is more like lighting a fire.  The dried resin smokes and fills the room and your house and it is a new month with all the energy of a new year.  So far, that is how 2019 has felt for me.  Each month an entire year in itself.  Pretty soon a decade will have come to pass and one moment I feel so different and the next exactly the same.

But wait -- I still wake throughout the night and with nightmares... I'd say I am a terrible sleeper.  

But wait -- isn't that a massive improvement from not being able to sleep at all?  

But wait -- I've got some major inflammation happening right now so I'd say nothing is working.  

But wait -- isn't it much less than it was?  And isn't it only now actually correlating with normal cycles instead of just a continuous haze of confusion and uncomfortableness?  And what about the tiredness and anxiety and stress?  That's still there.  

But wait -- didn't you used to drink extremely strong coffees with 4 shots each throughout the day?  And have to workout on top of that?  And need to listen to crazy intense music to be able to concentrate?  And struggle with procrastination and finishing projects?  And every other legal self-medication strategy that made sense?  

Aren't you doing a lot more now on and with much less?  Now that you have decluttered?  

Ok, I guess that's true.

So right now here is life, decluttered.

1. Seeing doctor about nutrition

Taking supplements as prescribed, clean diet, food diary

2. Mysore practice

3. Journal

Schedule lives here as well as notes, idea, plans, etc.

4. Kon Mari'd house

5.  Social media detox

6.  Tech detox

7.  Tracking budget

8.  Office 

Decluttering the unnecessary and one thing at a time

9.  One thing at a time

Also, one project at a time

10.  Listen to body/mind

11.  Reading

12. Write for 30 days

And I guess it is true that I have noticed other things besides unresolved feelings...  My memory is getting better.  My attention span longer.  I am maintaining eye contact.  My creativity is coming back.  My voice...  I never realized how much they had all diminished.

FOMO is gone.

Noticing how much my identity is tied up in my yoga practice.  Somehow noticing even more how essential it is.

Exit: "Different Now" Chastity Belt